To say that discipline has been a constant battle in and of itself here is a complete understatement!
We have no personal space where we have been staying. Everything is heard.
Josh and I kind of thought out a time line of how the kids have been doing…
The first week to two weeks was spent adjusting. We were ALL adjusting. There were good days and bad days, but it was just a HUGE transition time for all of us.
Then we had a week or two of goodness. Everything was new. Everything was an adventure. The kids were still obeying pretty normally.
But, somehow, with the difficulty of our circumstances and where we are and the consistency that we are forced to implement the kids have slowly been going downhill week by week.
This hasn’t just been Rainy, Zeke and Cai either. Shabila has been right there in the mix.
At first she stuck by her orphanage rules; never getting out of bed until told, quick to listen, quick to obey, with only a few temper tantrums as she tested the waters. But even then, they were during circumstances that happened at the babies home as well.
The newness of our family is quickly wearing off as she finds her place (and as she observes how her siblings are acting). Food is by far one of our biggest battlefields. It’s hard to explain what we go through at every meal, but let me tell you, you really have to be strategic to get through a meal without a fight. Not that she won’t eat, not that she’s picky…no, she wants to be in control. That is what it boils down to.
Another really frustrating thing for me is her desire to be coddled all.the.time. It’s beyond the “I just want to cuddle”. It is her way of manipulating control. If I am trying to make her sit and do something and she doesn’t want to obey she will most definitely find someone else very willing to sweep her up and cuddle her and tell her how cute she is. All the while she is looking at me out of the corner of her eye as if to say “If you won’t hold me when I want, I’ll find someone else that will…stranger or not!”
It has become very apparent that we not only have one very strong willed child, but TWO very strong willed boys and now one very stubborn little girl! It’s not uncommon for me to be seen staring at my children in amazement at the way they are acting, wondering how in the world to respond in love, yet being confident and strong at the same time. Have I mentioned that I usually have an audience of at least 25 -30 people watching me at any given moment as we try to think on our toes and dish out appropriate consequences.
We have been stretched to our limits in every area as we try to live here, without really being able to “live” here. Does that make sense. I really believe that under normal circumstances we could thrive here as a family. If we had a place to be. If it was ours. If we had some routine. If we had a space of our own. If we could eat when we wanted to. If we could discipline without having to walk 50 yards away to our hut every time we needed to discipline our kids or have a strong talking to.
It’s been very hard to pick battles and we are all suffering because of this.
This brings me to the next segment of my post:
We need wisdom in our parenting through this season we are in.
ALSO – We were told that our court ruling would be on Thursday, November 2nd. Well, if you look closely enough, Thursday is the 3rd and TODAY is the 2nd. So, we called our Attorney to see which day we were supposed to come in. He informed us that yesterday, the 1st our judge finally came in at 3pm and left within just a couple of hours, without hearing a single one of his cases. All those families sat around all day with NOTHING to show for it! Our Attorney told us not to worry about coming in because he was afraid that we’d be in the same boat today or tomorrow so he is waiting it out for us. We are praying that TODAY is the day we get our written ruling. But, if not today AT LEAST BY FRIDAY!!!! We’d love to be able to get our stuff submitted to the Embassy by the weekend and we need that signed Affidavit!
ONE MORE THING – We need a smooth and quick Embassy appointment. We’ve been told by many people that this is another place where we could see lots of holdups. Pray that everyone that needs to be there will be there. Pray that all the documents will be in order and correct. Pray for the people that will be investigating our case. Pray that we can find favor in this (almost)last part of our process.
We are so close, yet we have no idea how long it could take. It’s hard to live in the unknown…
We covet your prayers more than you could ever imagine. I can honestly say that I have been on my face before our Great God more these past almost 7 weeks than ever before!