It’s hard for me to pray big sometimes. It’s not that I doubt that God can do something, but I want to make sure that I keep my hands open to whatever the Lord has and I feel that if I ask God for something big that I am, instead, being selfish for God to do MY will and not His. Holding onto my own wishes too tightly.
I know it is a heart thing. I know the right way to pray is to ask God for His will over my own, even if I am requesting something specific. I’m just saying, this is my struggle sometimes in praying audaciously.
But this past week and a half Josh and I have been praying specifically for something together, while still trying to hold our request loosely, knowing that our Heavenly Father knows what is best. It is a hard balance for me…
We are praying that we will be able to go home by November 12th. That is Shabila’s birthday! What a wonderful present to be able to offer her!
This request seems to be getting more and more impossible by the day, though. We’ve been without internet for the past day and a half and when I opened up my email this morning I had a message from our agency in my inbox. As I read through the contents of the message my heart sank. We have been informed that our judge had a relative pass away this weekend and that this could possibly effect our rescheduled court date on Friday.
Our November 12th request seems to be getting further and further from our grasp. Tomorrow marks 5 weeks from when we pulled out of our driveway in Rolesville, NC and we still have another 5 days until our court date!
Please pray with us! We are asking God to have His way in our hearts and lives. We want to be open to whatever His plan is…and in the same way we ask that He hear our prayers for Friday to be a successful hearing, that we have a quick ruling (which just doesn’t seem to be the case with our judge) and that the rest of the process will move quickly, and without incident (which just hasn’t been the case with any other step we have encountered throughout this process).
We know our God is a BIG God. We know He is a powerful God. We know that in Him, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!